I must admit that while I've been an agnostic for quite some time and only last year made the switch over to atheism, my life has made much more sense than it did before. Of course being an atheist doesn't mean that one is necessarily a materialist (for those of you not familiar with the materialism philosophy, and no it's not the desire to hold lots of material objects in one's possession, please see here: http://www.allaboutphilosophy.org/Materialism.htm), but my science background and same search for the truth that led to my atheism also led to my materialism. This is all anecdotal, of course. I'm sure that there are atheists who feel more lost than ever after the realization that there probably isn't a god(s). But for me, it has simplified everything so much more.
I think one of the things that goes hand in hand with the Christian faith is that people believe that God has one single person that they are intended to be with or "the one". I think the concept of "the one" complicates things beyond what might initially seem to be the case. If you believe that you are destined to be with only one person, all of your actions with regards to relationships are guided by this notion. For instance, if you're in a relationship that you're having second thoughts about, rather than logically assessing the problems of the relationship, you end up trying to figure out what to do based on whether or not you think he or she is "the one". This leads to all kinds of confusion. "What if I break up with him and he was 'the one'?" or "If he's the one, everything will work itself out" or "If he's 'the one' we'll be together when we're meant to be together" and so on ad infinitum (also see ad nauseum). At any rate, it leads people to take a passive position in dealing with relationships rather than an active one. If you believe that there is "the one" then you most likely also believe that things will work themselves out as a result of this destiny or fate. When you hold a materialistic world view, you can let go of all this nonsense and begin to take an active position in your relationships and make better decisions and more clear decisions. If you aren't happy in a relationship and you feel that it has become unhealthy, it's easier to let go of it if there isn't some "the one" nonsense clouding your judgment.
Just to be clear (even though I included the link above), materialism is the view that everything can be explained physically without the need for invoking things like a soul and that consciousness can be explained in purely scientific terms . If one doesn't believe that there's any existence of a soul, then there isn't any need to believe that there's such a thing as a soul mate or "the one", to be consistent in my phrasing.
Not that there are really that many people who actually read my blog (especially since I don't actively promote it), but I can hear the protests about how depressing a materialist world view is. If you think it is, I will ask you why? Love and positive relationships aren't any less real and we don't feel them any less if this is the case, so why do you think this is depressing?
I'll leave it at that, today.
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9 comments:
The whole concept of having to find 'the one' has always bothered me as well. People seem to forget how large the planet is and how many people live here.
I like to ask proponents of finding their 'one true love' what they plan on doing if it turns out their 'one' lives in a tiny village in some far-away corner of the world.
I agree, but still with "God" logic, it could be argued that God wouldn't have placed your personal "the one" in some tiny village on the other side of the planet with no hope of ever learning English.
Good post. I've never actually met an atheist who feels lost after realising there isn't a God. Perhaps that might be the case for those just shedding their faith, although it was never that way for me. Perhaps I'm fortunate that my faith wasn't ever that strong!
You won't get any complaints from me about a materialist worldview being depressing.
Last thing I would say: just because people have a materialist philosophy, doesn't stop them having nonsense clouding their judgement!
Quetzathan,
I didn't think there were any atheist who felt lost, but I was covering my bases in the interest of not over-generalizing. Also, there are a lot of theists "claiming" to have formerly been "atheists" so they must have felt lost enough to turn back to theism. Or something like that.
I definitely agree that certain people have nonsense clouding their judgment despite holding a materialist world view. I think ScooterNYC on RD.net qualifies as a good example.
The comment about the materialist world view being possibly depressing to some was aimed at my friends who might read my blog that aren't atheists.
Anyone ever notice that god does not tell good looking people to marry ugly people?
It is not just relationships that atheism frees you to take control of. It is just about every aspect of your life where there is a desire. It gets you up of your arse and do something about it, other than wait in vain for the magic sky fary to wave his wand.
I think it also healthier psychologically to take credit for your own sucesses and not believe it is down to god. I have known so many christians who think the only reason they can get out of bed in the morning is because they believe god gives them the strength to face the day. That is such a depressing way of life.
Chistianity sucks the self esteem of many - look at jimmy - thinks he is moral failure in the eyes of his virgin raping-baby eating-puppy drowning god
Those are all excellent points, Billy. For some reason, I hadn't noticed your comment until now.
Once again, to be anecdotal, I have never felt more mentally healthy as I do now (and I think as a direct result of letting go of all of the bullshit I was holding on to as a result of my Christian upbringing, even though I had been an agnostic for some time).
Another problem with believing in god is that it can allow for onesided abusive relationships to form.
I was in a situation where I thought god had brought someone into my life for a reason - she was pretty messed up, and I have certain qualities that I thought god intended to use heal her. How wrong I was. If I didn't believe in god, I would have realised I was being manipulated and ended the relationship.
I remember Philip telling a sad story about a friend who would not leave her abusive husband because of her faith too./
Billy,
That is a good point, albeit a sad one. I stayed with my first boyfriend for 4 years in an unhealthy (although not abusive) relationship because I kept thinking he was "the one". Actually, his mom still thinks we are meant to be together. My mom ran into her rather recently and she told my mom that she always knew that guy and I would end up together. Religion really does poison everything. CH got it right.
Anna Banana
I reckon that arriving an atheistic/scientific/materialistic (call it what you will) worldview is one of the most liberating things that one can do in one's life. Everything just makes sense in a way that a religious worldview never can. All that angst over evil in the world, why we are here etc etc all seem to vanish and you can concentrate on what really is important, forcing you to take responsibility for your own life.
The 'soul mate' argument is an interesting one. I guess I'm still a bit of a romantic at heart! While there are no souls, there can still be chemistry between people that is quite uncanny - I'm lucky enough to have experienced a relationship where everything just 'clicked', without any intention or effort on both people's behalf. On the other hand, I think that Hollywood has a lot to answer for in putting forwrad unrealistic expectations!!
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